Right now I'm training to kill! Thanks to my "murder simulator" Super Contra for the Nintendo Entertainment system. Surely you've heard of this video game. It's the one that sent John Rambo over the edge just before his murderous rampage that killed a bajillion cops and law enforcement officers.
Now despite the fact that the FBI and secret service (where exactly does the secret service figure into this?) have released several claims that the county Sheriff did in fact draw "first Blood" as it were, the fact of the matter remains that Rambo was a avid player of Super Contra...according to all of his POW buddies. In fact he played Super Contra all the way through his tour of Duty in 'Nam! Everyone knows that Super Contra was yesterday's Counter Strike...and EVERYONE knows that Counter Strike is today's premier Murder Simulator!
Back on Track, Jack. I'm training to kill. I'm practicing running with my nondescript machine gun and firing wildly forward, down and up at an angle. I've almost mastered all the powerups that I'll surely find here in the real world (I'm not sure you know what that is Jack) and soon I'll be coming after every pixelated bully that's ever picked on me!
Oh yes Jack, Video games are teaching me to kill. Pac Man really fucked with my head. Dark rooms, taking pills, seeing ghosts...scary shit man.
mmmm Sarcasm.
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