Burnout Paradise (PS3)

Genre: Arcade Racing
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Developer: Criterion Games
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
Price: $29.99 USD
US Release Date: January 22, 2008
Equipment: Sceptre 37” widescreen LCD TV with HDMI cable in 720p, 60 GB PS3, DualShock 3 controller
Completion: Approximately 15 hours to earn Burnout License, additional 5 hours to complete Bike License.


It’s another day for you and me in Paradise.

Burnout Paradise answers the question, “What if you had a city all to yourself to race around in using a wide assortment of cars and bikes and there were no repercussions for all sorts of moving violations, up to and including the destruction of your car as well as other vehicles?” An arcade racer through and through, Burnout Paradise lets the player take corners at high speed, make impossibly tight turns, perform stupefying aerial maneuvers, and of course, completely and utterly annihilate any car in the city, before it pops back unharmed.

Paradise controls like any other arcade racing game on the market. The default layout uses the triggers for the gas and brake, but can be changed to use the face buttons for gas, brake, reverse, etc. The starting car and bikes are nothing too special, but still give a fantastic sense of speed. New cars are awarded after completing certain races, winning a certain number of events, gaining a new license, or by taking down special opponent cars speeding around the city. The vehicle progression is steady and rewarding; a stable full of cars is available after only a few hours of play. Any event in the city can be chosen right from the start of the game and tackled in any order. It’s even possible to completely ignore an entire event type and still “finish” the game. Events include point to point races, circuit races, time trials, road rage (where the objective is to make a specified number of opponent cars crash in a given time limit), stunt runs (where the objective is to score a set number of points by driving stylishly and recklessly), and marked man (where the objective is to reach a destination without crashing too many times while being pursued by aggressive opponents).

Nearly every intersection in the city is an event opportunity. Simply pull up to the light, smoke the tires, and go racing. Cars can be changed at any of a handful of junkyards around the city and drive-throughs offer repair, nitro, and paint services. While this menu-less system leads to a very immersive experience, it means that there is no way to quickly retry a failed race, or to change vehicles without driving back to the starting line or to a junkyard. Luckily, a new event is never very far away, and junkyards are evenly spaced around the city.

Since Paradise encourages driving as fast as possible, the city generally whizzes by, but at a flawless 60 fps. When details can be seen, they look fantastic. All the cars are shiny and reflective, with a large number of intricately detailed paint options. During crashes, slow-mo kicks in, and it’s possible to see tiny pieces of glass and twisted metal fly everywhere. Oddly enough, there are no driver models except on the bikes. Perhaps seeing what a head on collision at 120 mph would do to a driver in an open wheel race car would bump the rating up to M for Mature.

Just like any other EA game on the market, the soundtrack is extensive and varied. Hard driving rock, funky R&B beats, catchy pop, and even some smooth classical tunes make up the one and only radio station in Paradise. Music is interspersed with chatter from DJ Atomica, who can be a tad annoying. He also serves as the game’s tutorial, but he only mentions how to do something once the player’s already done it, which leads to quite a bit of trial and error.

Online play is seamlessly integrated with the single player mode. Just hit a button on the d-pad, invite a few friends, and go racing. All times from the single player mode are also uploaded automatically to the world-wide leader boards.

Being a Burnout game, the crashes are epic and spectacular, but no longer the focus of the game. In previous Burnout titles, the “Crash Mode” was the primary mode, with pure racing taking a back seat. Crash Mode is now know as “Showtime” and is relegated to an option while racing around the city. Nevertheless, Paradise is still very much an arcade racer, and still very much about crashing as an art form.

One other interesting thing about Burnout Paradise is the developer’s commitment to regular updates to the game. Since hitting shelves almost a year ago, a number of free updates and expansions have been released that do everything from fix bugs and glitches, to adding a day and night cycle, introducing motorcycles, new multiplayer modes, new cars and trophy support. Other packs have been announced that will expand the city with additional islands, add local multiplayer, and a new car with a brand new boost system. Not all of these will be free, but this type of continued support for a game that could easily turn into a yearly-release shovel-ware franchise is rare and very encouraging.

Arcade racing, blistering speed, spectacular destruction, beautiful environments, and fresh content updates: don’t think twice, it’s just another day in Paradise.


Heath Says:

I’ve always been a fan of the Burnout games for the Crash Mode. I could do arcade racing in any one of a hundred other games, but the Burnout series gave me the opportunity to take these amazing, high-performance machines and crash the shit out of them. In Burnout, crashing wasn’t something to be avoided, but embraced. It was my responsibility to crash these cars, simply in order to see how much devastation I could wreak with a two ton hunk of metal and an internal combustion engine. With Paradise, crashing is no longer the main event it was with the previous games, but rather a featured player. That saddens me, but the racing itself in Paradise is much better than in the previous games, so it balances out.

That’s not to say there are problems, of course. It would be great to have the option of restarting a race in the middle, or to retry a failed race immediately instead of quitting out and driving all the way back to the start line. A real tutorial mode would be helpful, and eliminate certain frustrations (such as trying to figure out how to quit out of a race). Also, even with all the updates, there are still bugs that are very obvious, both minor and major. Minor: new cars don’t accumulate mileage until they’ve been repaired and driven back to the junkyard. Major: if a bike is selected as your primary vehicle when loading up your saved game, trying to switch back to a car freezes the system, and the only way to fix it is to repaint the bike before returning to the junkyard.

If I’m being honest, though, all of those issues don’t really bother me when I look at the game as a whole. It’s just way too much fun to drive really, really fast and break things in the process. Plus, the updates keep the experience fresh. You can’t beat it for 30 bucks.

Final Verdict:

Eternal Sonata (Xbox 360)

Eternal Sonata

Genre: JRPG
Developer: tri-Crescendo

Publisher: Namco Bandai

ESRB Rating: T for Teen

Price: $34.99 USD (Xbox 360)
US Release Date: September 14, 2007 (October 21, 2008 on PS3)
Equipment: Xbox 360, 32” Vizio LCD @ 720p.

Completion: Completed main campaign in 35 hours.

I know what you’re thinking. An RPG about Frederic Chopin on his death bed… He dies in the end, right? Maybe. Feel free to suspend your knowledge of history for the rest of the review.

The game begins with a remarkably youthful looking Chopin on his deathbed and rapidly transitions to a dream world where we start to meet the actual main characters.

That’s right Chopin fans, he isn’t the primary character in his own game. He is an important character. Being the main character falls to Allegretto, Beat and Polka, who fit right into your Japanese RPG stereotypes. Without getting too far into the plot, it rocks an RPG framework. Your teenage heroes must go out and save the world / their people / something important. In doing so they learn about themselves. It is nothing ground breaking but it is a solid framework to build on.

The combat is reasonable and you are eased into it. You have a choice of regular melee or special attacks, and you can use as many of either, if you have the time. When you reach your first combat instance you are given a tutorial on how to do the basics of fighting. There are several levels of proficiency you unlock as you proceed through the game called Party Class Levels. The higher the Party Class Level, the more you have to contend with during combat. Starting at Level 1 you get an unlimited amount of Tactical Time so you get to stand around and think about what you are going to do for as long as you damn well please. The Action Gauge only runs down while you are moving or hitting things, and that’s about all you can do.

As your Party Level progresses, you run out of Tactical Time and your Action Gauge gets shorter, but you get access to blocking and counter-attacks as well as the Echoes meter and Harmony Chains. Regular attacks charge the Echoes meter up in groups of 4 and 8, up to a maximum of 32. When you use a special attack after charging up the Echoes meter, you get a damage bonus. If you have charged it to at least 24, you can trigger a Harmony Chain. This allows you to execute up to six special attacks in a row, two from each of the characters in combat. Devastating, if you pull it off.

A word about light. This is important to the world of Eternal Sonata, as it determines what kind of special attack you can use. The characters all have a list of special attacks they can use, but you are only allowed to carry two each for light and dark onto the field of battle with you. If you are standing in the shadows, you can use your dark attacks, in the light your light attacks. This has no effect on melee at all.

Controls are easy to use, all you really need are the ABXY buttons and a directional stic. Refreshing. There’s a music mini game where you find pieces of music laying around (no, really) and then play them with NPC’s that are scattered around the world. You get to play composer, which is kind of cool, but the pieces of music that go together don’t always make sense. Once you play the music correctly, the person you were playing with is so happy they give you some equipment.

Saving is done at save points, which are sprinkled liberally around the countryside. I never felt like I was unreasonably far away from where I had last saved, nor were they every few feet. One of the most interesting features that I have never seen in a game before was the ability to turn on more controllers and let other players control characters during combat. Nobody ever really mentions this and when I found it, it blew me away. I do not have four controllers to test this with, but it looks like you could actually have one person control the world map and let three others deal with combat instances. It’s not exactly seamless drop-in multiplayer in the “classic” sense, but it is quick to use and if it gets your girlfriend playing, all the better.

The graphics are really strong. The real world, and you only see one room in the real world, suffers quite badly from the Next-Gens and is basically just different shades of brown. All the way from Auburn to Buff. In Chopin’s dream the world is lush, vibrant and often simply beautiful. The characters are well designed and easily recognizable from one another. The characters clothes however are static and do not change with their armor, though I understand they will have dress-up available in the PS3 version. There is no blood, ever. Even when somebody gets stabbed. The animations have their hiccups. When the characters are moving, in combat or in cutscenes, they generally look great. When just standing around they never seem to put their arms all the way down. They just hang there in space, held out from their body just a little like they’re trying to form an A. I’m not sure if it was a stylistic choice or not.

Speaking of style, this game is clearly from the land of anime. Everyone has giant eyes, skinny limbs and is cell shaded. This is done very well and is scaled with age. Chopin looks more like he’s in his late 20’s but Allegretto and Beat both appear approximately the age they’re supposed to be – 16 and 8, respectively.

The sound is excellent. The soundtrack is beautifully put together and fits into the game well. It is unsurprisingly based on Chopin’s works. Sounds in combat and in the world are crisp. The American voice acting is good, most characters have voices that really seem to work with their bodies. There are a few exceptions to that, such as Salsa and her magical changing accent. It’s no deal breaker, but it just doesn’t stand up to the quality of the rest of the game.

Shini Says:

All in all, I enjoyed this game. I like me some JRPG and it filled that niche really well. The combat was occasionally frustrating but the first time you do 250,000+ damage and heal everyone in the party in a single turn it is well worth it. If you like anime and RPGs then this game is for you. If you are a music nerd this game will make you feel really clever because you get what Claves’ name means. The Encore Mode, while ratcheting up the difficulty noticeably, maintains playability of the game without becoming unreasonably hard. Encore mode is probably in the 50-60 hour range to complete and has a few extra side quests and weapons. Good news for anyone who wants all of the gamer points or achievements the game has to offer or wants a longer game.

There are interludes between the chapters where you are shown a slideshow of places Chopin lived and a narrator… narrates his life. I found it interesting. A little depressing, too. The photography is excellent.

That said – I am still not sure exactly what happened in the ending. It was a good ten minutes of confusion before you get to the real ending of the ending. You just need to keep watching until it tells you to go away. It does tie everything up pretty well, but I still feel confused by it.

If you’re hankering for some JRPG, get this game. I give it a four out of five.

Spore (PC)

Genre: Sim/God-Game
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Developer: Maxis
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
Price: $49.99 USD
US Release Date: September 7, 2008
Equipment: Windows XP Pro PC, Intel Core 2 Duo E6400 @ 2.13 GHz, Nvidia GeForce 8800 GTS 512MB, 2GB RAM, HP 23" widescreen monitor @ 1920x1200
Completion: Approximately 15 hours to reach the 10th rank in Space Stage.


Don't call it Sim Spore, but don't call it the Second Coming, either.


Spore allows the player to create an organism and follow it from the tide pool all the way to space. Along the way, simple and intuitive yet robust editors give the player control over how their creatures look, what they wear; where they live, work, and play; the type of vehicles they pilot, and even the style of spaceship they launch to explore the galaxy.

The heart of Spore is the editors that allow the user to create nearly everything in the game. Beginning in the Cell Stage, options in the creature editor are rather limited. Once the creature steps out of the water, though, the only limiter is the player's imagination. There are a large number of limbs, hands, feet, eyes, ears, mouths, noses, wings, and other things to make a creature unique, and they can all be painted in any color of the rainbow. Upon reaching the Tribal stage, the creature design is set, and the editor changes to accessories: backpacks, head wear, masks, and armor. The editor changes again in the Civilization Stage, allowing the player to make buildings for their creatures: homes, workplaces, entertainment centers; as well as their transportation: land, air, and sea. Finally, the Space Stage editor gives numerous options for galactic travel. All the other creatures and civilizations in the game are created by other players, and are distributed over the EA network.

While the ultimate goal is space, each of the five stages has distinct gameplay and objectives. The Cell Stage is all about eating enough plants or meat to get bigger and stronger and eventually make it to land and the Creature Stage. Here, the objective is to further the development of the species by banding together in packs and hunting or befriending other packs of creatures. The pack will migrate over time to bigger and better nests, allowing a larger pack. Once the pack is large enough, they will form a tribe. In the Tribal Stage, the focus is less on the individual creature and more on the interactions between tribes. Again, those interactions can be hostile in order to eliminate other tribes, or friendly so they will be allies. After the other tribes have been conquered or befriended, the Civilization Stage begins. The user's creatures form a city and send out recon units to gather spice in order to fund their new-founded empire. They can use this spice to trade with other cities and eventually buy them out peacefully, or take the opponent's spice fields by force and crush enemy cities with military units. Only after the entire planet belongs to the player does the Space Stage begin. The player's civilization launches a spaceship that can be used to explore the galaxy, terraform new planets and colonize them, buy, sell, and trade with other space-faring nations, or go to war with and conquer them.

Everything to do in Spore is handled with an easy control scheme that is simple and mostly intuitive: left click to move or attack, right click to select, hold to swing the camera around, and scroll the mouse wheel to zoom in or out. The editors are equally easy to use.

In every stage of the game, Spore looks great. The game is fully 3D, with bright, vibrant colors and fully detailed environments. Animals and structures are all user-created, but plant life is not. Even so, there is almost an unlimited variety of species of plant ranging from tiny grasses to gigantic trees. In the Space Stage, the first time zooming out from the planet's surface into space, then into the solar system, and eventually seeing the entire galaxy on screen is breathtaking.

One of the truly groundbreaking things about Spore is its procedurally-generated animation and music. Not only does the game generate animation on the fly for how any given creature will move, but it does the same with music, depending on the types of parts that were used to create those creatures. It works surprisingly well.

What doesn't work so well is the Space Stage. It's designed as the ultimate sandbox, allowing for go-anywhere, do-anything gameplay, but it doesn't completely deliver on that promise. Yes, it's possible to change everything about a planet, from its atmosphere level and temperature, to the color of the soil and water, to the type of plants and animals that live on it, and even the shape of the planet itself. However, given the fact that there are perhaps millions of planets in the galaxy, the idea of modifying planets to this degree quickly loses its appeal. Space also provides the option of interacting with other empires by completing missions for them. These missions have a few basic categories: FedEx (collect and deliver), recon (scan a plant or animal species and bring back the information), or extermination (eliminating diseased animals); in which there is a bit of variation, but not enough to keep them fresh for very long. Then there's expansion. Just like in the other stages, there are two ways to expand: by establishing trade routes and eventually buying out other star systems or eliminating the inhabitants and taking over their planets. Trading with and ultimately purchasing new territory takes a long time and is very expensive. War is less costly outright, but finishing one, especially against a large empire, can take just as long, if not longer than trading. The reason for this is that anytime the player is at war, their existing colonies will be attacked by the enemy constantly, forcing the player to return and micromanage them by rebuilding turrets, buildings, and sometimes entire cities. Lastly, there's the overall objective of reaching the center of the galaxy, which is unfortunately protected by a gigantic, extremely hostile empire. Simply flying too close to one of their star systems brings an immediate declaration of war. The actual act of attempting to fly through their territory in order to get to the galactic core is an exercise in futility.

Spore is ambitious, ground-breaking, interesting, frustrating, and unpolished. There is so much potential that isn't fully realized. Some parts of the game are genius and inspired, while others are baffling and inexplicable. Procedurally-generated animation and music is the future of gaming, but Spore has too many issues to be considered a classic game.


Heath Says:

There were parts of Spore that I had a lot of fun with (such as the creature creator), and there were parts of Spore that I had the opposite of fun with (such as much of the Space stage). I liked the Space stage at first, until I realized that anytime I was at war with anyone it meant I would constantly be micromanaging my colonies. At one point, I just began ignoring my people's pleas for help, until I realized that they literally had no defenses (even with turrets and attack vehicles) against the enemy. If I didn't rush back to help them, the enemy spaceships would continue blasting away at my colonies until they glassed the entire planet. Don't even get me started on trying to reach the center of the galaxy. It's impossible; which is not to say that no one has done it, but it takes much more luck than skill to achieve.

There's also the issue of the DRM included with Spore, in that it requires online authentication, and the number of installs are limited. What happens if the servers required for authentication ever shut down or the install limit is reached is anyone's guess. Be sure to check out Kitsune Game's article on DRM in games for a more in-depth discussion of the issue.

Perhaps my biggest complaint about the game is one that I never thought I would levy: Spore is in fact a game with structure, objectives and advancement towards an ultimate goal, but I think I would prefer it if there was a pure sandbox mode included. The Space stage is like a sandbox, but it has a lot of roadblocks. I would love a freeplay mode that became unlocked after finishing the Space stage that allows you to go back and revisit any part of the game with no limits of any kind. Sadly, that isn't the case, and now that I've played through Spore once, I have no desire to play through it again.


Final Verdict:




Second Take by NordicRev:

Spore promises an entire universe in a box. What you really get is an endless character creator with flat, repetitive, and ultimately boring game play.

Expect anything in the game to have lasting effects on your species? Expect disappointment. Your species doesn't evolve based on what you've chosen. You just randomly add new parts as you see fit. Bored with having four legs? Add four more! One head not enough? Add three more then change it two minutes later if you want more or less! And if you think that having extra legs helps your speed or that extra claws would help your ability to kill things you'd be about as wrong as the banks were when they thought sub-prime mortgages were a slam-dunk investment.

Fundamentally, the problem with Spore is that all game play in all of the sections is the same and by the time you get to the Space Stage you're already feeling like the game is passé:

In Cell Stage you gather red bits, green bits, or both and fend off other creatures by killing them and collecting their parts.

In Creature Stage you either become a predator (red bits) or a social animal (green bits) and collect body parts when you defeat/befriend the other creatures.

In the Tribal Stage you develop technology to either woo the other five tribes (exactly five every time) with music (green bits) or spear them to death (red bits).

Then you're in the Civilization Stage and get a little variety!

In the Civilization Stage you can build tanks and kill cities (red bits) or build cars to take missionaries and convert cities (green bits) or build caravans and trade with cities until you can buy them. Regardless of what you choose at this stage your only goal is: get airplanes, build your flavor of airplane (trader plane, evangelist plane, or fighter plane), and throw as many planes as possible against a city until you take it over. If a plane dies, you click on a city and press a button and a new plane appears instantly.

This is where I lost interest.

The Space Stage (what little I played) doesn't seem much different except that there's more micromanaging without the luxury of trading for spice.

For anyone looking for the complex choices of Civilization or actual strategy, Spore does not deliver. Really there are better games for every section of Spore. All of the parts of Spore, when taken together, do not transcend into the title of greatness or even just good. Unless you're the type of person that thinks most games go downhill after you're done with character creation this game amounts to a $50 flash in the pan. You'll play it, have penis shaped creatures with names like "whatyourmomsawlastnight" streamed to your universe from other players' accounts (thank you, Internet!), and shrug.

Rayman Raving Rabbids (Nintendo Wii)

Genre: Party
Publisher: Ubisoft
Developer: Ubisoft Montpelier
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
Price: 49.99 USD
US Release Date: November 19, 2006
Equipment: HP 23" widescreen monitor with composite cables in 480p, standard Wiimote with Nunchuk attachment.
Completion: Approximately 5 hours for the single player story mode.


Bunnies don't give gifts. Bunnies don't understand bowling. Bunnies never close doors. They also have a penchant for kidnapping Rayman's Globox buddies and forcing him to participate in sick and twisted minigames for their amusement. Daaaaaaaaah!!!


Rayman is controlled by the player, but the bunnies are arguably the stars of the game. They're evil and scream like maniacs, but it's hard not to like them, especially as the game progresses. The story mode lasts 15 days, during which Rayman must successfully complete 3 minigames and a final stage each day in order to escape the bunny prison. If Rayman completes 4 minigames each day, he gains either a bonus costume or a song for the jukebox in his cell.

The minigames are fun, quick, and varied, and utilize the Wiimote and Nunchuk in interesting ways. Bunnies don't give gifts, so Rayman has to deliver a present (a lit stick of dynamite in a box) before it explodes by running as fast as he can. Bunnies don't understand bowling, so Rayman rolls a barrel down some train tracks to knock down ten bunnies at the end of the line. Bunnies never close doors, so Rayman must keep four doors shut at all times as the bunnies behind them relieve themselves. Bunnies are fantastic dancers, however, so Rayman can rock out with them in a DDR-style dance contest. The final stage on each day is either a first person on-rails shooter where Rayman takes a plunger gun to a horde of bunnies, or a race against three bunnies on mounts.

Each minigame has a slightly different control scheme, but they're all very simple and often intuitive. Hold the Wiimote and Nunchuk vertically, then shake them up and down quickly (simulating running), then press A to unleash a kick to an unsuspecting bunny, and aim the Wiimote while he's flight in order to score a goal against the bunny goalie in soccer. Strike down (like beating a drum) with either the Wiimote or Nunchuck as bunnies cross the platform in tune to the music to earn points in DDR. Aim with the Wiimote, fire with the B trigger, and shake the Nunchuck to reload in the shooter stages.

Rayman and the rabbids are in full 3D, and the art-style is clean, simple, and cartoony. Bunnies dancing and grooving to the music are fantastic to watch, as are all the other animations. What few CGI cutscenes there are look great.

Bunny screams are surprisingly hilarious. The thunk of a plunger onto a bunny's face is solid, and the resulting muffled protests sound as expected. There are a half-dozen "bunny-mixed" tunes for the jukebox, including Misirlou, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and La Bamba that are fun to listen to, and even more fun to play in the DDR game.

Shooter stages are first person perspective, while most other games are third person. There are no serious camera issues, as there aren't any platform-like games that require free camera movement.

At the end of each day, the game is autosaved.

Difficulty is a mixed bag. Some games appear more than once, and are harder the second time around. Others only appear once, and range from effortless to hair-pulling. None of the games are impossible, but some may require multiple tries to complete. Certain games are unnecessarily difficult due to either the control scheme (turning the Wiimote to steer while flying is a pain, and would have been much better with the analog stick), or the Wiimote being unresponsive (tilting the Wiimote to tilt a board on screen).

Despite beating each other with spiked clubs, getting blown up with dynamite, having worms infest their teeth, and being smacked in the skull by a ball-peen hammer, bunnies never bleed or appear worse for wear. They do scream a lot, though.

The storyline in story mode doesn't make much sense, especially the ending, but that's not really the point. Outside of story mode, there is a score mode which awards additional bonuses for high scoring, and a multiplayer mode for up to 4 players. Some minigames support simultaneous play, such as the shooter and DDR games, the rest are turn-based affairs.

Raving Rabbids doesn't have much in common with other Rayman games besides Rayman himself. It's definitely not a platformer, though, so it's a refreshing change of pace.

As a party game, it does just about everything right. Some of the situations Rayman and the bunnies are in are outright ridiculous, and getting some friends together to play only increases the fun factor. Even without friends, it's still entertaining.


Heath Says:

Rayman Raving Rabbids is a great rental. For 50 bucks, though, there's just not enough play. I finished the story mode in under 5 hours. If it ever drops to 20 bucks, or if you have friends over all the time, then I'd say it's worthy of a purchase. Since I rented, I never actually got to experience multiplayer, but I bet it's a blast. I laughed my ass off more than once during the course of the story mode. The DDR games and the plunger shooters are my favorite parts. Hell, if Ubisoft released Rayman Plunger Wars or something, I think I'd buy that. This game really shows off what's possible with the Wiimote and Nunchuk. I think Sports is still the king, but Rayman proves the Wii controls are not a one-shot gimmick.


Final Verdict:

Dead Rising (Microsoft Xbox 360)

In honor of Zombie Jesus Day, I present the Dead Rising review.





Genre: Third Person Action
Publisher: Capcom
Developer: Capcom
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
Price: 53.99 USD
US Release Date: August 8, 2006
Equipment: HP 23" widescreen monitor with component cables in 720p, standard 360 wireless controller.
Completion: Approximately 15 hours.


"Willamette, Colorado. Population: 53,594. Distinguishing characteristics: Jack shit. About the only thing to do in this town is kill time at the shopping mall."


If you've seen George Romero's Dawn of the Dead, you know the setup for Dead Rising. There's a mall in a small town that's filled with zombies and a handful of survivors. Your job, as freelance photojournalist Frank West, is to survive for 72 hours until the rescue chopper returns. Along the way, you can take pictures, bring survivors back to the safe room, take down nutjobs who've lost their minds after seeing the dead walk, and kill a shitload of zombies.

Frank's not alone in his endeavor. His primary contact is Otis, a mall security guard equipped with a two-way radio. Otis calls you on this radio. A lot. Some of his information is useful, but most of it isn't. There are also a couple of Federal Agents on hand to deal with the zombie outbreak. Everyone else in the game falls into three categories: zombie, survivor, or psychopath. Zombies and psychopaths are there to kill you, or be killed. Survivors are there to be saved, or be turned into zombies.

What better way to deal with a zombie outbreak than being trapped in a mall? Almost anything on screen can be picked up and used as a weapon. From benches to trashcans to CDs to bowling balls to shotguns to nerf guns, there's always something handy to take out some living dead. Who hasn't wanted to knock someone's head off with a home run swing? Or crack them in the face with a 2x4? Or bisect them with a chainsaw? Dead Rising lets you do that to any zombie you meet.

The game looks beautiful. The character models are quite detailed, and the cutscenes show them off really well. Hundreds of zombies can be shown on screen at once, all looking and shuffling differently, and the frame rate remains silky smooth. Blood and viscera in HD is stunning.

Voice work is well done. None of them are recognizable names, but they're all good. There's not a bad one in the bunch. The music fits the action without being overbearing, and sound effects are solid. The sizzle of a zombie's face being burned off with a hot frying pan is spot on.

Controls are nice and tight, although the camera can get a bit wonky in certain spots. The camera has been a problem in every third person action game ever, though. The melee combat controls are perfect, but the ranged combat controls are not. Throwing an item or shooting a gun requires entering a targeting mode, which means Frank can't move and shoot at the same time. In a game that is otherwise extremely polished, the somewhat sloppy ranged controls stand out that much more.

On a related note, whenever Otis calls, Frank is rendered impotent. He drops whatever he's doing in order to answer the call. While Otis blathers on, Frank can't use any weapons or his camera, he can't lead or carry survivors, and he often gets gnawed upon by zombies. Of course, this interrupts the call, prompting Otis to call back and reprimand you for cutting him off. Otis is such a bastard.

Saving is something that has been maligned by other reviewers and players. There's only one save slot, and Frank has to go to the restroom in order to save. If Frank ever dies, the player is given the option to load the saved game, or start the storyline anew while keeping Frank's current stats. This is practically necessary in the early game, because Frank simply doesn't have enough health or item slots to progress very far. The argument could be made for starting Frank out at level 10, which would lessen the amount of restarts. On the other hand, restarting the game allows for correcting earlier mistakes, like saving more survivors, or taking out more psychopaths. That said, there's nothing inherently wrong with the save system.

If there's one place where Dead Rising falls down, it's the boss fights. Zombies are human. Or at least, they once were. So it follows that Frank can take their heads off with a sickle, or slice them open with a katana. That makes sense. What doesn't make sense is a supposedly regular human who is nearly immune to every type of attack, whether it be a sledgehammer, lead pipe, pistol, or shotgun. It doesn't matter who you are, if you take a rifle round in the forehead, you're dead. If you take a full load of buckshot in the chest at point blank range, you're dead. If a ten pound sledge slams into the side of your skull, you're dead. The bosses don't follow those rules. If the bosses were challenging for some reason other than the fact that they cheat, Dead Rising would be a perfect game.

Multiplayer is nowhere to be found, but there are rumors about co-op play being included for a Greatest Hits version. After the 72 Hour mode is complete, there are options for Overtime and Survival, the latter of which where Frank tries to stay alive for 5 days straight, without saving.

For 360 owners looking to add a solid title to their library, they can't go wrong with Dead Rising.


Heath Says:

Since I enjoy picking out the bad in games, let me reiterate the bad in Dead Rising. Ranged combat sucks. Bosses cheat. I can't kill survivors once they get back to the security room. Otis is the bane of my existence. However, it's way too much fun to spit in a zombie's face and then burn it off with a red-hot skillet. Dead Rising was in my collection until I got rid of my 360. It's so good, I'll probably repurchase it (the Greatest Hits version anyway) when I get a 360 again. That's the best endorsement I can give it.


Final Verdict:

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (PS2)

In honor of the GTA IV teaser trailer being released today, I present the Liberty City Stories review.





Genre: Third Person Action
Publisher: Rockstar Games
Developer: Rockstar Leeds/Rockstar North
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
Price: 19.99 USD
US Release Date: June 6, 2006
Equipment: 21" Panasonic TV c. 2000, slim PS2, standard DualShock 2 controller
Completion: Approximately 7 hours to get halfway through the second island.


Welcome back to Liberty City. It's just like you remember, only worse.


Antonio "Toni" Cipriani is trying to get paid, laid, and made, in that order. He starts the game as just another earner in Don Salvatore Leone's organization. Liberty City Stories takes place chronologically before GTA3, which allows for some minor changes to the landscape, and characters from the series appearing at earlier points in their lives. The city itself is contested by three factions: the Italians, the Triads, and the Diablos. Toni needs to make his mother proud by rising in the ranks and taking down the other gangs.

LCS plays just like the other GTA games, or the million and one clones thereof. The city is (almost) wide-open, anyone's car is at Toni's disposal, and there are numerous side-missions in addition to the main storyline missions. Advancing the storyline opens the other two islands, and completing the side missions gives rewards like fire-resistance, unlimited running, extra health and armor, and weapon pickups back at the safe house.

Graphically, the engine is showing its age. It's not 2001 anymore, but Grand Theft Auto is stuck there. While using a six year old engine isn't necessarily a bad thing, its been five games now (including the recent Vice City Stories). Time for a change.

Voice acting in the GTA games has always been top-notch, and LCS doesn't disappoint on that front. The sound effects are most likely reused, but that's forgivable. What's not forgivable is the poor choice in music. The rock station is terrible, the flashback/80's station isn't any better, and the talk radio station isn't funny.

The controls are familiar to anyone who's played the GTA games on the PS2, and suit the game perfectly. Nothing unusual here, just the basic shooting, running, jumping, and driving, all in third person. The targeting mode, while supposedly much improved, still doesn't work right. Why anyone would want to target an old lady across the street when there's an asshole pumping AK-47 rounds into them from two feet away is something I'll never understand.

The police force in Liberty City is much more aggressive this time around. Wanted stars accumulate much faster for lesser crimes, and squad cars become relentless at only two stars. Plus, citizens are much more resistant to surrendering their vehicles. At least half the time, the driver who has just had his vehicle stolen will come running up and take it back.

By going back to the safe house, Toni can restock his weapons if he's unlocked the necessary pickups, store a car or three in the garage, change clothes, and save the game. Safe houses are available on each of the islands.

Liberty City, as one might expect, is laid out the same way as it is in GTA3. All the car models return as well, with the new addition (to LC, not to the GTA series) of motorcycles. Crashes are just as spectacular as they have always been. Even low speed collisions result in hoods denting and doors shearing off.

Like the other GTA games, certain missions can be extremely frustrating, while other missions are cakewalks. There isn't a linear, or even exponential progression of difficulty, but more of a scatter plot.

Violence, language, and adult content abounds in LCS. It's not particularly graphic, given the engine limitations, but heads can be popped with the sniper rifle, and people can be beaten to death with an aluminum bat. Characters routinely drop f-bombs, and of course, it's still possible to pay a hooker for sex, and then murder her in order to get the money back.

There is no multiplayer, online or off.

For fans of the GTA series, LCS is more of the same. Whether that's a positive or a negative is up to the individual.


Heath Says:

LCS sucks. I don't know if it's a symptom of being originally developed for and released on the PSP (although signs point to yes), or if I'm just spoiled by next gen games like Saint's Row (or even GTA: San Andreas), but LCS is poor quality. No swimming, crap radio stations, a terrible targeting system, over aggressive cops and civilians, and a sticking point in the middle of the game adds up to not much fun. Seriously, why the hell do 50-60% of the civilians try to take their cars back from a man armed to the teeth? This is Grand Theft Auto, stealing cars is literally the name of the game. When that becomes unnecessarily difficult, I get pissed off. Needless to say, when I became stuck on the second island because the only story missions available were a shooter on rails (nearly impossible with an analog stick), or a timed assassination mission with three targets on opposite ends of the city, I was done playing. The only saving grace is that LCS is 20 bucks. Even so, I think it's 20 bucks better spent elsewhere.


Final Verdict:

Metroid Prime: Hunters (Nintendo DS) Quickshot

Genre: First Person Shooter
Publisher: Nintendo
Developer: NST
ESRB Rating: T for Teen
Price: 31.95 USD
US Release Date: March 20, 2006
Equipment: Nintendo DS Lite
Completion: Intro level and Boss fight, approximately 1 hour.


Metroid Prime: Hunters? More like Metroid Prime: Terrible Game.


Metroid means Samus Aran, and it's hard not to like Samus. The overall storyline involves Samus on a planet-hopping quest to recover 8 artifacts, all the while dogged by the titular hunters who are seeking the same artifacts.

Hunters plays nearly identical to the Metroid Prime games on the Gamecube. The action is in first person, through Samus' visor. When Samus goes into Morph-ball mode, the camera pulls back to third person.

A first person shooter on a handheld is difficult to pull off. Hunters doesn't look bad, given the limitations of the hardware, but it doesn't look good, either. Anything past a foot in front of your visor is nearly unrecognizable. Background textures are dull and repetitive. The menu screens are clean and well-organized, however.

Sound quality and music is excellent. The classic Metroid theme is still here, and still great.

What kills Hunters before it even gets out of the blocks is the control scheme. There are three ways to do it: forgo the touch screen and play with the D-pad and A, B, X, Y buttons, use the D-pad and the thumbstrap stylus while holding the DS normally, or use the D-pad and the stylus while holding the right side of the DS with your pinky. The first option is far from ideal, and very imprecise. The second option is comfortable, but your thumb blocks your view. The third option is extremely uncomfortable. Some players might be able to get past the pain and frustration of learning and dealing with the controls, but the learning curve is very steep, and nearly a brick wall.

Multiplayer is an option over Wi-Fi.

Hardcore Metroid fans and/or those players who don't mind struggling with the controls for a few hours could get into Hunters and have a great time. It is Metroid. Everyone else should probably rent first, if at all.


Heath Says:

I'm a big fan of Metroid and Samus Aran, but I simply don't have the patience anymore to screw around for hours on end with difficult controls. I play games to have fun, and if I'm not having fun after an hour, I move on to something that is fun. Buying this game sight unseen would have been one of the biggest purchasing mistakes I've ever made, so I'm real glad I decided to rent it first.


Final Verdict:

Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis (Nintendo DS)

Genre: Action/Puzzle
Publisher: Nintendo
Developer: Nintendo
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
Price: 29.99 USD
US Release Date: September 25, 2006
Equipment: Nintendo DS Lite
Completion: 7.4 of 8 levels, approximately 5 hours.


Mario vs. Donkey Kong. A classic struggle, now on the small screen. Who will win? My money's on Mario.


You control Mario. Or rather, you control miniature toy versions of Mario, using the stylus and the touch screen. On any given stage, you'll have control over 1-4 toy Marios. You'll encounter some standard Mario series baddies: shyguys, pipe plants, bloopers, and of course, Donkey Kong himself, who shows up at the end of each level as the boss.

The object of each stage is to get the Mario toys to the Goal door, preferably one right after the other in a chain in order to rack up big points. It's kind of a puzzle game, and kind of an action game. The trick is figuring out the correct strategy to get all your Mario toys to the door quickly, in a chain, and without stopping them once they start. Each stage can be completed fairly quickly once you figure out the strategy, which can take a few tries. There are 9 stages per level, plus a bonus minigame (Whack-A-Shyguy), and the boss fight with DK. There are a total of 8 levels, one final boss fight, and an extra Basement level with two stages and two unlockable boss fights.

With any DS game, the touch-screen gameplay is make or break. It works here, for the most part. Tap a Mario toy to start it walking, slide across the toy to change direction, slide up to make it jump, slide down to enter pipes, or tap again to stop it walking. Everything else that can be manipulated, like switches and blocks, are controlled with the stylus. While simple, the controls get the job done.

However, the control scheme is not without its flaws. All the stages are too big to fit on a single screen, so there's always scrolling involved. One problem is that sometimes the screen will scroll to follow one Mario toy while you're trying to control another Mario toy, and your instructions are ignored. That might not sound like a big problem, but when it happens often enough that it causes you to restart the stage because a Mario toy saunters off a cliff, it's a big enough problem. The toys will also bump into each other and change direction, which is a massive pain if two are going left, and the other two going right. They'll rebound off each other multiple times and end up going the complete wrong direction you need them to. A quick swipe of the stylus will send them in the correct direction, but many of the levels have such small walkways that a toy will plummet to its doom while you're attempting to sort them all out.

Control issues aside, the game looks nice. The art is clean and simple, just like any other Mario game. The intro cutscene is fancy full-motion CG, and there are similar CG still-shot bumpers for the boss fights. The in-game graphics are on par with a typical side-scroller from the PSX era.

Music and sound is typical Mario fare. I don't remember when Mario started talking (perhaps it was with Super Mario 64?), but his voice is the same. "It'sa me, Mario!" Fun fact: if you close the DS to put the game in sleep mode, Mario will say, "I love-a this game!" with an echo as if he's in a tunnel.

Each level has a theme, like a tropical island, magnetic walls and floors, or lava and fire. The game autosaves after you complete any given stage. There's a score tally at the end of each stage that includes the coins you collected in that stage, as well as bonuses for time, chains, and continuous movement. Based on the final score, a bronze, silver, or gold star is awarded. Stars are awarded for the DK fights, as well. After completing the entire game, a bonus is given for getting all bronze, silver, or gold stars.

As the game progresses, the difficulty increases at an even pace, while never getting too hard. If a stage is challenging, studying it for a while before trying again is usually all that's needed to pass it. Each level brings new enemies, and new obstacles that must be overcome, which helps keep the action fresh.

Besides the single player campaign mode, there is an editor mode where players can build their own stages to play. The main game unlocks toolsets to use in the editor. You can choose a premade template, or start from scratch, but you can go nuts in the editor building a devious stage that can then be sent to friends over Wi-Fi.

Mario and puzzle fans alike can find something to like in Mario vs Donkey Kong 2. It's probably most closely compared to Lemmings, although it involves a bit less strategy and a bit more action. While it may not be a game to sit and play for hours on end, it's fun to pick up and play a stage or three here and there.


Heath Says:

Mario vs DK 2 is a fine rental, but I wouldn't want to spend 30 bucks on it. It's too short, and I still got bored before I was finished. Certain stages were challenging, but I feel like I breezed through them without much trouble. I can't get over the control issues I encountered, either. It was usually the controls that prevented me from completing a stage on the first try. I knew what I needed to do, but couldn't do it without Mario toys bouncing off each other, or not doing what I told them to. I don't regret playing it, and I think most people would enjoy it, but it just wasn't for me.


Final Verdict:

Sudeki (Xbox)

This is an older game, but I think it's worth a review for those who missed it (or, at least, a reprisal for those that may have forgotten about it).



Genre: RPG
Publisher: Climax
Developer: Microsoft
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
Price: 9.99USD at Fry’s
US Release Date: July 07, 2004
Equipment: First Gen Xbox, 25” Goldstar CRT, Microsoft Type S controller
Completion: Around 20-30 hours depending on exploring and side quests and character leveling.


As Seen In Illumina Daily Times*:
The land of light has been overcome by darkness of sky and soul. Please help.

You start out as Tal, son of General Arlo. He’s an excellent swordsman, but a little absent-minded. His attacks are melee and third person when in battle. Some are weak, but some gib opponents very nicely. His offensive casts can be devastating and his ability to shield all party members comes in handy as well. He has an increasing collection of swords as the game progresses, some very interesting, some basic. The chainsaw sword that can be purchased at Kamo’s is particularly fun and well worth the buy. His special ability is brute force. He pushes and pulls around large, heavy objects (and never once complains).

The next character you are able to play is Princess Ailish. She’s fairly down to earth with her friends despite her status, but retains a slight arrogance towards those she doesn’t really care for. Her attacks are ranged and first person when in battle. She is also the group’s healer. As long as you keep her alive and her SP replenished, your group should stay alive as well. (Setting all in the group to Defense helps too.) Her weapons are somewhat mediocre at first, but later on she acquires one that, at the very least, hits hard enough to knock opponents off their feet (very handy with spell-casting Arconites). Her special ability is dispelling. Anything hidden by magic, she can uncover.

Buki is your third character and your first big boss fight. Half human, half tiger, she’s very spiritual and an excellent fighter with her claws. Her attacks are melee and third person when in battle. While not a healer, she can cast regeneration for the entire party and she can call a wolf spirit into battle that causes damage and distraction to the opponents. Some of her weapons are very upgradeable, making them quite formidable. Her special ability is climbing. She just digs her claws in and away she goes.

The last character you become fully acquainted with is Elco. He is very scientific and his ion fluxinator is a very good weapon to upgrade and use throughout most of the game. Elco is also the oldest member of the group and the only one who is married. His attacks are ranged and first person when in battle. He has a cast called Nano Enhancement which improves the entire party’s attack quite a bit while it lasts. His offensive casts are lackluster and often not needed as long as his strongest gun is equipped. His special ability is his jet pack. As long as there’s a fuel supply, he can “platform jump” from place to place.

As these four characters, you travel through Haskilia searching for crystals to power a large force-field machine Elco has invented to protect Illumina Castle from Aklorian invaders. Each town you encounter is completely different from the last in design and presentation. There’s also chances to trade, rest, and upgrade your armor in each town. (Stick with the traders on the outskirts of towns for selling your bounty and learn what they like best. Kamo’s is the easiest place with the most supply to replenish your healing aids.) All of the people are interactive, each having a different nugget of information (or quest) for you. Like any town, some people are entertaining to speak with, some you want to smack. The voice acting of the random townsfolk seems a bit tongue-in-cheek (no pun—well, maybe a little) but those that are more integral to the plot or quests stepped up to the plate a bit better. Main character voice acting is pretty good, too (the only two that really bother me are Alexine and Kazel who you meet in Akloria). I fear some of the characters don’t realize they’re English anime, but they seem all right with that. The soundtrack to each town fits quite well and the ambience is decent. Graphically, you can sort of see the game’s initial Dreamcast hopes, but generally it’s not too bad if you like your animes in 3D.

Battle is fairly entertaining. It’s real time and you can switch between characters fairly easily, allowing you to cast a heal here, an enhancement there, or just blow enemies to bits. There’s no turn based play here. You hit while the hitting’s good and be aware that the enemy is going to do exactly the same. If you’re overwhelmed, you can make them back off with a sweep attack. If you need something from your menu, the fighting simply slows down so you’d better know what you want and where it is or you might end up dead searching for something. There’s also a quickshot menu that allows you to set up four items to be easily accessed with your D-pad so you can give Ailish a quick hit of SP or HP before having her heal the rest of the party (or Tal some HP before having him obliterate the enemy). When you kill your enemies, they can explode in bloody, chunky bits. Some of Tal’s casts executed on multiple enemies fills your screen with a lovely ocean of red.

The enemies are the only parts that are really recycled (and other things in Akloria, but I can't say much on that without giving a huge spoiler so you'll have to see and understand for yourself when you play the game). You notice a lot of similar frames with different bodies attached. Much as it works for Ford/Mercury/Mazda, Toyota/Lexus, and all of GM, it works well enough here. The experience is different and the tactics are different when fighting them. The AI isn’t too bad, either. Enemies have little trouble trying to kill you hard and your group follows you along like good little lambs.

The game controls feel fairly natural. There’s not a lot of confusion when learning them and you become comfortable with them quickly. Save points are scattered fairly liberally around so you don’t have to worry about five hours of play going down the drain because you have yet to be able to save and your cat just turned off your surge protector.

As the game progresses, the level of difficulty seems to grow accurately with your characters (pending you’ve stopped to do the side quests and get the XP from those quests and from all the fighting you end up having to do for those quests). You’re given points to buff attributes and you’re also given orbs along the way that do the same thing. (Tip: feed most of the orbs to Tal. Don’t ask. Just do it. You’ll thank me later.) There’s also a level cap. No level 99 for these guys. Level 30, that’s it. Every fifth level gets you an extra point to work with. (Something else to keep in mind.)

All in all, it’s an RPG. You’ve got your group with your hard hitters and your spell casters. There’s your inns and your traders and townsfolk. (“Fish! Fresh fish!” will always be something I’ll remember from this game.) You’ve got your quests and puzzles that you can actually decipher without banging your head against a wall. The characters have some character to them and the surrounding countryside has some too.

Nikoda Says:

Generally, I liked the game. I’ve played it through about a five times now because it’s just fun to play. You can get into it, but you can stop playing should something suddenly come up and you’re no worse for wear. I do wish a little more happened at the end, but the big question gets answered, so I guess I’m left to wonder if Tilly divorces Elco because he’s never home. Although, it would be nice to get a chance to run around and kill things with your shiny final upgrades. It’s a fun map to explore and a fun world to run around killing things in. The game isn’t ridiculously easy or insanely hard. Plus, you get to trade with a cantankerous duck from the Bronx and the narrator at the start and end sounds suspiciously like Dr. Who.

Final Verdict:


*not actually in game--I made it up to be "cute" or "funny" ;o)